As a staff writer on the Tonight Show, I wrote hundreds of monologue jokes every week, as well as sketches and desk bits. My jokes were seen by millions and quoted on social media, print and websites, and often featured in The New York Times’ Best of Late Night. Some of them were even funny.
“Engineers for Disney theme parks are developing technology to change a ride’s path depending on how scared the riders are. And this is weird: Southwest Airlines is doing the same thing.”
— Jimmy Fallon
“I read about a new fitness center at the Baltimore airport. So now instead of just sitting around during long layovers, you can spend that time feeling guilty about not going to the gym.”
— Jimmy Fallon
“In honor of International Women’s Day, Mattel is releasing a set of Barbies based on history- making women, like Amelia Earhart and Olympic gold-medalist Chloe Kim. Yeah, it’s called the ‘Way Too Good for Ken’ collection.”
— Jimmy Fallon
“I read that this month, the world’s oldest person will turn 117, and she says she eats two raw eggs every day. When asked what she wants for her birthday, she said “a skillet.””
— Jimmy Fallon
“JetBlue may soon be able to track customer e-mails, phone messages, tweets and Facebook posts – while United will just break into your bedroom and read your diary.”
— Jimmy Fallon
“Happy Anniversary to Kim and Kanye! Kanye asked a jeweler for the biggest diamond in the store, then he was like, ‘While I’m here, I guess I’ll get something for Kim, too.’”
— Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary Clinton AND Miley Cyrus are on the show tonight! Yep, one recorded a song about a wrecking ball – and the other lost an election to one.”
— Jimmy Fallon
I was a staff writer on Good Morning Today, an animated, political morning show set in a virtual reality and created by the award-winning head writer of the Daily Show DJ Javerbaum and filmed at Jim Henson Studios.
It was as fun as it sounds.
